I Was Being Weak
by abbygiordano12
Summary: What if Bellamy had been in Mount Weather much longer? Tsing and Cage love to mess with him. Will he survive? Will the others? Summary kind of sucks but please read! Leave reviews!
1. Chapter 1

After his fifth blood withdrawal, it occurred to Bellamy that he was probably never getting out of Mount Weather, that when he finally did succumb, it would not be surrounded by friends and family, but by sterile medical equipment and caged grounders. He supposed there were worse ways to go. He could have been killed by one of the many grounder traps in the woods. He could have died from the sickness that had past through the camp many months ago. He could have been Finn, killed by someone he loved to save him from an even more brutal fate. So as he hung upside down, feeling dizzier by the second, he reminded himself that there were worse ways go.

He originally didn't even think he'd make it this long, but that psycho Cage and his pet lady doctor Tsing realized that his blood seemed to heal people faster than the grounders' blood. They drained him enough to lose consciousness and then the'd start back over a couple of days later. He didn't know how long he'd been there, but it seemed an eternity since he had last seen Clarke Griffin, her sunshine hair blowing in the wind. He thought of her last words to him.

" _I was being weak."_

He held on to her words, Octavia's smile, Jasper's jokes, Raven's quick wit, to Monty's compassion. He missed them fiercely. He wondered if they missed him.

He knew trusting Lincoln was risky, he had been too raw from the withdrawal. He didn't blame him of course, he just wished things had worked out a little differently. He hoped he'd returned safely to Octavia, that she was nursing him back to health, not worrying about her big brother. He wasn't worth that concern. Bellamy liked to think that this punishment was some sort of penance for the innocent deaths he had caused. He killed his mother, all those people on the ark, Wells was his fault too. Maybe this is what the Universe decided was fair for him. To die; alone and broken.

He hadn't even realized Cage had entered the small prison until he hit the button that caused the machine holding him to unceremoniously drop him on the ground. Before the guards that had followed Cage unstrapped him, they stuck a needle in his neck, releasing a flood of drugs into his system. They'd done this before. It burned and made him weak and made him see things. Horrible, horrible things. He remembered the mushrooms that had caused him to hallucinate Jaha and all those other people he had murdered. They sat him up against a wall and his head lolled to one side. Cage motioned for the guards to leave as he looked down at Bellamy without feeling. Perhaps if he pretended someone wasn't human, it's easier to do the horrible things he did. He knelt down to get on level with Bellamy and turned his head so the drugged man could make eye contact with him.

"How are you feeling?" Cage asked him.

Bellamy would have snorted if he had had the energy so instead he glared.

"I see. Dr. Tsing was wondering, as you know, you are very special to her."

"She has a funny way of showing it," Bellamy let out a hoarse whisper.

"Ah, so the young man does still have a fierce spirit. I'm sure you'll need it in a few hours. Dr. Tsing has decided to do some more experiments with you. It seems you are even more resilient than the 47 we already have, it is quite impressive."

At the mention of the 47, Bellamy felt rage and worry surge in his chest. Were they okay? Were they being spared? He couldn't bare the thought of them suffering this fate. It was too awful and they were too young.

"You...leave...them-" Bellamy tried to gasp out but the drugs were starting to burn even in more, causing him to shudder.

"Oh please, enough of the hero talk. You can barely move. What will you do, huh? You are weak. Weak Bellamy Blake."

Bellamy looked up, Cage had never used his name before. How did it he even know it? Cage must have sensed Bellamy's confusion because he sneered and stood up, facing a wall of cage of grounders who shrieked at the sight of him, back towards Bellamy.

"Surprised aren't we? Well while You were out, I brought one of your little friends down here to identify you. It seems you're their leader? Well at least the second in command, we both know who is really in charge."

"Clarke," Bellamy whimpered.

Cage turned to face him, sneer still on his face, "That's right Bellamy. She's much more important than you, much smarter, your people need her, you, on the other hand, are just collateral damage. Jasper didn't even bat an eye when he saw you; shoved in that tiny cage, drugged and bloodletted. I don't think they'll mind if we keep you at all."

Bellamy tried to pretend that didn't hurt. He knew Cage was lying, Jasper and him had become friends after a while. He'd saved Jasper's life and the kid reminded him of it often. No way he'd be okay with this.

"You're lying."

"How could you know Bellamy? You've been here three weeks and no one has come for you. Clarke won't come for you. She doesn't care."

"That's not-"

Cage bent down quickly again and slapped Bellamy across the face. Bellamy felt his lip split and looked up dazed at Cage.

"Do not argue with me. Nobody cares about you Bellamy. You are a _murderer._ I do what is best for my people, but you? You do what is best for yourself. You killed hundreds on the ark. Why would anyone care about you?"

"How-"

"You talk in your sleep. You scream about it every night. All those people dead. How do you even sleep?"

Bellamy tried to shake his head, tried to blink away the tears that had formed in his eyes, but he could them slip down his cheeks. This was humiliating. Cage was manipulating him and it was working. He was making him weak. He could not be weak. He looked up at Cage, defiance in his eyes. Cage looked unaffected.

"Tsing is going to perform a series of tests on you. I suspect they'll will be _extremely painful._ I hope they are at least. Maybe I'll even bring some of your little friends to watch. In fact, I know just who."

Cage stood up once more and suddenly, his foot slammed down on Bellamy's hand. Bellamy let out a pained gasped as he heard his fingers shattered. The burning drugs were nothing to the white, hot blistering pain that coursed through his throbbing hand. He felt himself start crying again and he didn't even care. His whole body ached. Cage shouted for who Bellamy guessed were the guards. They lifted Bellamy roughly off the ground and shoved him back in his cage. He clutched his hand tighter to his chest and watched as Cage came closer to him.

"Sleep tight Bellamy, I can't wait to see you in the morning," and one last evil smile, he had gone, guards trailing behind him.

Bellamy was surprised to find the room almost silent, save for his heavy breathing. The grounders had all stopped their screaming and if Bellamy had to guess, they were all staring at him. He looked out and was unsurprised to see Clarke standing in front of his cage, her body covered in blood, tears streaked down her face. She and Octavia were often the hallucinations that appeared to him. Cage always stayed right until they were supposed to kick in. Bellamy liked to think this was some game he played with Bellamy. It was awful and cruel and it was just like Cage to do this to him.

Clarke was banging on his cage, screaming at him.

" _Why didn't you save me Bellamy! You killed me! You killed Wells! You killed everyone! You're a monster!"_

Bellamy pushed himself to back of his cage, shaking his head and covering his ears.

"You're not real. You're not real. You're not real."

" _You killed me! You're a monster! A monster!"_

"Please stop," he begged her, he just needed her to stop screaming at him, just for a moment. He needed just a moment of relief.

"She's not there Skaikru. She's a vision."

Bellamy looked to Echo, the grounder who was caged next to him. She had a look of sympathy and gentleness on her face. She gestured to the front of his cage.

"She is not real. That man, he's playing tricks on your mind. You should sleep. You'll need your strength for... tomorrow."

She told him this every time he had one of these hallucinations. She'd always tell him to sleep. This time, it seemed she really even meant it, which made his stomach crawl at the thought of what Tsing wanted to do to him.

"I don't think I can sleep. I just see her there too," Bellamy said, gesturing at the screaming girl who wasn't even there.

Echo nodded in understanding.

"Lay down Skaikru."

Bellamy did his best to contort himself into a semi comfortable lying down position. Echo reached her hand through the bars and rested it on top of Bellamy's head. She dragged her fingers through his sweat slicked curls, soothing him. She hummed a soft melody, somehow overpowering the imaginary Clarke's shrieks. In this moment, Bellamy allowed himself a moment to fully break. He sobbed quietly as Echo hummed for him. Tears rolled down his cheeks and into the cage below, but that grounder generously made no sound of complaint. He thought of the real Clarke and her last words to him.

" _I was being weak."_

He wondered how she'd think he was if she saw him that moment.

 **Hope you guys enjoyed that! Leave reviews please!**


	2. Chapter 2

It had been three weeks. Three miserable weeks since Lincoln had returned to them, drugged out of his mind. Clarked remembered feeling her heart stop as she watched Octavia support the disoriented grounder. They hadn't heard anything from Bellamy yet and Clarke felt herself slowly start to lose control. She was trying to be strong for her people but she was slipping under all of the pressure. Bellamy going MIA did not help her anxiety. She remembered that on the ark when she was feeling stressed, her dad would watch those one of those old black and white movies with her to help alleviate some of the stress. She wished she could go back to those moments, wished that she could have remained naive about the ark and its flaws. She wished for a lot of things. None of that really mattered anymore.

She was supposed to be at a meeting with Lexa to discuss their strategy on taking on the mountain men, but she found her mind drifting to Bellamy. _Is he okay? Why hasn't he contacted us? Is he-_ no Clarke couldn't think like that. He was not dead. She wouldn't even allow her mind to go there. She had to stay strong for the rest of her people, all counting on Bellamy to take out the acid rain. Until he did, they were stuck. Lexa was growing tense about the situation, Clarke could tell. She didn't blame her as they both had people in there, suffering. Sometimes Clarke would think back to that awful room where they'd kept Anya and she felt herself begin to shudder. She hoped Jasper was still playing it safe, hoping he and Monty would soon get a chance to communicate with Raven like they'd done previously. Maya had someone gotten them a radio. She'd been surprised they hadn't been caught yet but she accepted it as a win for now.

She didn't notice Octavia coming up behind her until she felt the younger girl's hand touch her shoulder. Clarke turned to her and gave her a weak smile. Octavia looked too exhausted to return it but she somehow managed to upturn her lips slightly.

"How's Lincoln?" Clarke asked.

"He's better, it's out of his system. At least, your mom thinks it is."

Octavia's voice was strained which was as expected. Clarke wished she knew how to comfort the girl but she seemed to be unable to find any words that might have provided any sort of security. The truth was that while Clarke was unwilling to admit to herself that Bellamy was dead, she knew he probably was in some sort of trouble. Monty had told her that they hadn't seen Bellamy once during that first week. They hadn't heard anything since then. It seemed too risky to try to use the radio too often. Cage was likely to notice the signal at some point. She just wished she could see him again, his freckled face and dark eyes. She'd come to care deeply for him as a friend and one of her most trusted ones at that.

"I'm scared Clarke," Octavia whispered.

Clarke looked at her. She'd grown up so much since they first landed on the ground. Her face was covered with the dark grounder warrior paint but her blue eyes were still soft and watery at the thought of her brother.

"He'll pull through. He's strong. He wouldn't let anything prevent him from getting back to you. I'm sure he's just trying to do it in the most discreet way."

Clarke wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Octavia or herself but she didn't get the chance to figure it out. Suddenly she heard name being shouted. Her and Octavia sprinted towards the tent where the noise was coming from; Raven's.

"Have you made contact?" Clarke gasped as she entered.

"Monty and Jasper are on the line. Talk quick. They have news. About Bellamy."

The way she'd said his name did not inspire any good feelings inside of Clarke. She turned to Octavia, noticing how she'd paled slightly.

"Monty?" Clarke said slowly.

There was static and then, "Clarke? Thank God."

"Are you okay? How are the others?"

"We are all fine. Nobody's been taken in the past couple of weeks. Jasper said he had something he wanted to tell you, all of us about Bellamy. He wouldn't tell us until we got you. Let me put him on"

"Jasper?"

"Clarke, is Octavia with you?" he asked.

"Yes."

There was silence.

"It's bad Clarke."

"What do you mean?"

He seemed to try to be finding the words, almost as if he was preparing himself. He let out deep breaths that Clarke could hear over the radio. She was patient but she needed to know now what had happened to her second in command.

"A few days ago, Cage and grabbed me. I thought he was going to take me to wherever Harper went a few weeks ago, but he didn't. He took me to the infirmary."

Clarke felt her stomach clench. She knew what was about to happen, what Jasper was about to say. She felt the tears sting her eyes and looked away from Octavia.

"What happened?" Octavia asked him, desperation evident in her voice.

"He took me to this room and oh God it was awful. Walls of tiny cages. All full of grounders."

Octavia sucked in a breath. Raven looked sick.

"They probably couldn't have fit a dog. And they had some hanging upside down and it looked like their blood was being drained. Cage took me to... one of the cages and Bellamy was in there."

"Oh my God," Raven gasped.

"He was like drugged or something. Cage said they'd done four withdrawals on him, that his blood was the _most incredible stuff they'd ever used._ He knew he wasn't a grounder because theirs had never been so effective so he asked who he was. I tried not to tell him but he threatened to kill him if I didn't so I had to. It was awful Clarke. He was all twisted up and he looked sick. Kept mumbling things. Clarke-"

"Jasper does Maya have access to that room?" Octavia said, grabbing the radio from Clarke, she was crying but Clarke wasn't sure if she noticed.

"Yes but they are keeping special watch on him. They are on to us, Cage comes up to me at dinner and reminds me that he'll kill Bellamy if we try anything. Clarke, you guys have to find some way in or Bellamy..."

 _He won't make it._ It's the words none of them would say but knew were true. Clarke felt the sick feeling wash over her again.

"We will, we just need a little more time."

"Okay, but I'm not sure how much more time he has."

And with that, the radio cut leaving the three girls to stand in the silent room, save for the static from the transmitter.

 **Here you guys go! Be sure to leave reviews. Next chapter will be at Mount Weather.**


	3. Chapter 3

When Bellamy woke up, he noticed two things. The first being that he was no longer in his cage. The second that he ached all over. He could still feel his hand throbbing from last night. His finger had swelled up and stuck out at odd angles that would have made him sick if he hadn't become to accustomed to gore after being on the ground. He remembered he used to not have the ability to stomach blood but after Atom's death, he found he'd become more numb to it.

When he finally did work up to opening his eyes, he was immediately greeted by a bright light that hung from the ceiling. He was strapped down to a table, long straps went across his chest and legs, as well as being handcuffed to the table. He wanted to laugh at these precautions, it's not like he could even escape if he wanted to, he wasn't even sure he could walk anymore. He wondered what they had in store for him. _They are going to be extremely painful,_ he thought, recalling what Cage had said to him last night. He felt a shiver run down his body. He couldn't imagine anything more painful than what he'd already gone through at this point. He felt a stray tear run down his cheek and wished he could brush it away. He didn't want them to know they'd gotten to him. He needed to figure a way of this mess. Clarke needed him. Octavia needed him. The 47 needed him. He couldn't let them down.

He heard a door open and turned his head to see Dr. Tsing and two guards enter the room. One of them was pushing in a tray that was holding a lot of painful looking medical equipment. He suppressed his shudder this time.

"Put it there, by his hip," She told the guard, his expression cold and clinical.

She looked at him with fascination that was unsettling. He tried to move his body as far away as he could. She leaned down to his face.

"Hello Mr. Blake, how are you this morning?" She asked him like she didn't have him strapped down to a table, about to torture him.

"I've been better," he quipped back.

She smiled at that. She ran a gloved hand through his hair much like Echo did the night before. Bellamy felt disgust bubble up inside him.

"I don't want you to be afraid Mr. Blake. From what I understand the grounder girl in the cage next to yours does this to soothe you. Sometimes she sings?"

"How... how do you know that?" he asked, feeling even more violated than before. Those had been private moments between him and Echo. They had no right to those. They couldn't manipulate him with the only moments of peace he was allowed.

"President Wallace enjoys watching the security footage. He finds it relaxing."

Bellamy turned his face away from her. He would not let her do this. He would keep whatever piece of dignity he could. She wouldn't let him have though. She leaned down and whispered into his ear, "Look, you have some visitors."

Bellamy fought as the guards forcibly turned his head to a viewing room he hadn't seen before. His heart dropped. Miller and Jasper, both at gunpoint, both stood and looked horrified at him. Cage was there too, looking on with sick glee. Bellamy was _angry._ Hurt him all they want, but they were not allowed to _touch Miller and Jasper._ He looked at Tsing, a new burst of defiance filled his chest.

"What the hell are they doing here?"

"They are security measures."

It wasn't Tsing who answered, it was Cage. Apparently the people in the viewing room could hear into where Bellamy was and could respond. Cage looked like he was thoroughly enjoying this.

"We wanted to make sure you didn't get any ideas so we decided the best way to make sure you cooperate is to have them here. After all, wouldn't want to add them to list of all the people you've already killed."

Miller looked like he wanted to say something and the guard who was watching him must have noticed too because he pressed the gun a little bit harder into his temple. Bellamy watched his face morph into silent anger. He looked back at Cage.

"If I cooperate you promise you won't hurt them?"

"Of course. I'm not a _monster._ "

Bellamy wanted to scoff at that. He rested his head back on the table and looked into the blinding light again. Tsing put on her mask and apron and grabbed something from the tray that looked a lot like a drill.

"Sanders, Quinton I want you two on either side of him, he's probably gonna need some extra restraining. Mr. Blake? I just want to let you know this will probably extremely uncomfortable."

He braced himself for whatever was going to come. He heard her turn on the small metal object and suddenly all he felt was _pain._ She drilled into his hip and all Bellamy saw was white. He heard someone let out an unearthly noise and it took him a moment to realize it was coming from _him._ His muscles went taut and his whole body rebelled. He felt the scream rip at his vocal cords but he didn't stop. He forgot the world around him, forgot that Miller and Jasper were watching him, forgot his sister, forgot his sanity. He fought against the pain. He bucked trying to free himself from it.

"Sanders, grab him! Quinton cover his mouth! I can't focus with all that screaming!"

He felt a body spread itself across his torso and a hand clamped over his mouth. He didn't stop screaming but it was definitely more muffled. He lifted his head and looked to see what was causing this unbearable pain. He felt himself pale as he watched Tsing shove the drill further into his hip bone. He watched as blood oozed out from his body and onto the floor. He felt sick. The guard that was covering his mouth shoved his head back down. Bellamy felt the tears run down his face, his hair sticking to the sweat on his forehead.

" _Pass out Bellamy! Pass out!"_ he heard someone scream at him.

He tried to so hard. He slammed his head into the metal table over and over again, hoping that he'd hit hard enough to free himself of this pain. Who could inflict this upon another human being, without guilt?

He tried to distract himself by thinking of his mother and his sister. He remembered that on Octavia's tenth birthday he'd saved up enough credits to get her a cake and a small stuffed bear. It was one of the best nights of his life. His mother had read them stories and sang songs and danced with them. Bellamy wished he could be back there. Wished he could feel safe in his mother's arms again. He'd been responsible for her death, It was _his fault_ she wasn't here. He felt himself cry a little harder.

Tsing turned off the drill and Bellamy felt a slight relief of pain but not enough to be substantial. The guard removed his hand from Bellamy's mouth and turned his head to face Tsing again. She pulled down her mask and gave him a sad smile. Her gloves were slicked with his blood but she still began to drag them through his hair again. She started to hum like Echo did. Bellamy suddenly felt a sting in his arm and realized they'd drugged him again. He hated this. He was weak. He was pathetic. He'd screamed bloody murder in front of Jasper and Miller. He'd allowed himself to be humiliated.

"Thank you, Bellamy. You are helping save many lives. The sacrifices you're making are going to help us live better lives."

Suddenly it wasn't Tsing running a soothing hand through his hair, it was his mother. Just as beautiful as she had been the last time he'd seen her before she was floated.

"Mom?" he asked, his voice breaking.

She smiled down at him.

"It's me sweetheart."

"Mom I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to get you floated. I just-"

"Shh Bellamy it's okay."

"O, she just really wanted to go to the dance and you know how she loves to dance and she loves music. I'm so sorry I never thought they'd catch us. I'm so sorry," he pleaded with her on and on, sobbing pitifully.

She smiled and leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"It's alright honey. Sleep now okay? Sleep."

She hummed that familiar tune and Bellamy felt himself finally drift off to sleep.

Jasper had never been so disgusted his whole life. He couldn't believe the ways these people treated Bellamy like an _animal._ Didn't they realize how they were hurting him? What made him angrier was that they probably did, they just didn't care.

He and Miller had to hold back screams as they drilled into him. He felt himself weep as he watched Bellamy buck and scream and he was just _suffering_ and he couldn't seem to pass out. He couldn't free himself from the pain. Miller received a sharp slap from the guard when he'd screamed uselessly for Bellamy to just pass out. He knew how much Miller cared about Bellamy. How much watching this hurt him.

The worst part had to be when they'd injected him with at amber fluid and suddenly Bellamy was sobbing, telling Tsing how sorry he was, but he didn't see Tsing. He saw his mom. Jasper felt sick as he watched Tsing manipulate Bellamy. She stroked his hair and kissed his head and soothed soothing songs as if she hadn't just drilled into his body. When he'd finally passed out, Tsing sewed up the hole in his body and had the guards wheel him back to where Jasper would guess was the room with the cages. He and Miller were escorted back to their dorms. Everyone watched them walk back in and no one said a word. Jasper didn't know what to say. What was he supposed to say? He wanted to throw up. He wanted to punch Cage maybe use that drill on that vile Tsing. He wanted to do _something._ He was just so angry. He'd never felt this kind of rage but this was Bellamy, the guy that risked his life to save Jasper. He needed to do something to help him.

He hadn't realized Miller was crying until he saw everyone crowd around him. He pushed his way forward and sat next to him on the bed. He was quiet but it was evident to all that he was extremely upset. Jasper didn't say anything. They all stood there in silence.

"Jasper what happened?" Monty asked quietly.

"Bellamy," is all he replied.

Monty swallowed hard. Suddenly, Miller stood up and threw the pillow across the room with a roar. His chest heaved, his face stained with tears.

"THOSE MONSTERS!" Miller screamed.

"Whoa Miller calm down! What happened?"Harper asked him, obviously concerned about his outburst.

"Those animals have him strapped down to a table, drilling into his hip while he's fully conscious. They're drilling for marrow Harper. Just like they did with you," He said, his words pointed.

Harper swallowed hard. She remembered the feeling of the drill, the throat shattering screams she'd released. She never wanted to do it again.

"And if that weren't bad enough, they gave him some drug and he thought Tsing was his mother. God he couldn't even pass out. They had to hold him down and cover his mouth he was screaming and his hand... oh God his hand, it was shattered. Jasper... you saw it... you know...it was-"

"I know Miller, I know."

"Jasper, they're gonna kill him. We have to save him."

Jasper nodded and pulled Miller in for a hug. He would save Bellamy Blake, just like Bellamy had saved him.

 **Reviews! Next Chapter will be either Clarke or Bellamy again, you guys let me know what you want!**


	4. Chapter 4

He didn't remember where he was. Images of masked men and flashes of white hot pain filled his mind. Bellamy remembered his mother humming and then darkness. He wearily opened his eyes to see he'd returned to his prison. He tried to reposition himself, but pain surged through his body. He let out a gasp.

"Good to see you aren't dead skaikru."

Bellamy was almost happy to hear Echo. He turned his head to face her. He frowned when he saw her faces bruise and her lip busted.

"What happened to you?"

She lifted on unconscious hand to her lip.

"When they brought you back you were... unwell. They were rough. I do not think you remember but one of the guards dropped you and kicked your wounds. It was... unpleasant. When they got close enough, I bit his hand. He was angry."

Echo gestured to the bruises on her face as she said this, seemingly unconcerned about the wounds and cry blood that covered her skin. He couldn't help the surge of gratitude that came over him.

"I thought you hated skaikru?" he joked.

"You say we aren't in a war anymore. Might as well start getting used to you."

"You can call me Bellamy, you know. I think we've made it past that point. I mean you saved my life."

"You have also saved mine."

Bellamy thought back to his first week. The guards had been selecting grounds for the next bloodletting. One of the guards tried to take Echo, who was still weak from the day before. Bellamy got them to take him instead.

"How long was I out?"

"A few days perhaps. I cannot say for sure, time runs together in this room."

She was right. Seconds felt like hours and minutes felt like days. It drove him crazy. He missed seeing the sun and the stars. He missed Kane and Octavia. Missed home. He would have never guesses but Arkadia? It had become his home. He wanted to go back.

"I'm glad my favorite toy is okay. I was beginning to think you'd never wake up."

Bellamy shuddered. It was _Cage._

"Would you really care if I hadn't?" Bellamy bit back.

"Oh come on now Bellamy. You know I love your window humor. Not to mention you make Dr. Tsing very happy. Wouldn't want to take that away from her would we?"

Bellamy rolled his eyes but didn't answer. Cage motioned for the guards to come forward and unlocks Bellamy's cage. He would have fought them but he found himself too weak and let them drag him out without complaint.

"Look how much easier that was."

"Where are you taking me?" Bellamy asked.

"You're little friends have been dying to see you so I thought we'd pay them a visit."

Bellamy was surprised by this. Cage was not known for kindness. The back of Bellamy's mind screamed that there was probably something unpleasant in store but he'd risk it if it meant seeing Jasper and Monty and Miller and the rest of the kids.

"Shall we?"

Cage gestured to the guards and they swing Bellamy's arms over their shoulders and began to drag him. He looked only at the floor too weak to lift his head.

He didn't know how it's been but suddenly they stopped outside a large metal door. Bellamy felt himself grow excited with the thought of seeing his people. Cage yanked Bellamy's head up by grabbing his hair.

"Try anything and I'll pick one of them for your next procedure. Understand?"

Bellamy felt himself go sick and and nodded. He would never forgive himself if something went wrong. Cage released Bellamy and pulled out a key. Bellamy could hear it twist inside the lock and watched as it slowly opened.

To say they were surprised was understatement. It had been a few days since Jasper and Miller had seen them drill into Bellamy but they hadn't heard anything about him since. They'd sat an uneasy silence as Tsing came and grabbed Carter, one of the younger members of the 47. He didn't put up a fight, none of them did. They'd become resigned of their fate when Cage had had a guard drag the half naked body of Fox into their room and left her there the whole night, cold and eyes wide.

Monty and Harper had been playing a game of tic-tac-toe with a few spare sheets of paper. Jasper had been reading a book Maya had managed to sneak him. Miller looked like he was trying to sleep. They heard the door open and fear gripped them tight. If they were back so soon then that meant something really bad had happened to Carter. Monty stood in front of Harper, who was trembling behind him. Jasper stepped to the front, waiting to who was entering. He was surprised to see Cage and not Tsing enter. He was smiling and Jasper had to hold back the urge to punch him in his perfect teeth.

"What do you want?" Jasper snarled.

"Oh come on Jasper, don't be that way. I even brought you a gift."

Cage made a hand motion behind him and Jasper prepared himself to see guards dragging in Carter's dead body. What he hadn't expected was seeing two guards supporting a very weak Bellamy between them.

"Bellamy?" Monty gasped.

Jasper would have said something but he was still in shock. The guards dropped Bellamy and followed cage out the door. Nobody moved until Bellamy let out rattling coughs. Miller rushed to him and dragged him to a bed. Bellamy winced and smiled at Miller. Man he looked terrible. Dried blood caked his bare torso and Jasper felt himself wince as he saw a bandage covering the incision area peaking out from the hem of his pants. His ould see injection spots trailing up his arm. His face was pale but also had a rosy tinge to it, convincing Jasper that Bellamy was feverish.

"What did they do to you?" Harper gasped.

Bellamy took in a shuddering breath.

"It's fine, I'm okay. Have you been able to come to contact with Clarke?"

Talking seemed to drain whatever energy he had left as he drooped into Miller.

"We have, she's worried about you. Lexa is trying to figure out another plan for the acid."

"That's good Monty, when I leave I need you to tell her I'm alive. She doesn't to worry about me."

Jasper turned and looked at Monty. The expression on Monty's face looked like he thought everyone should be worrying about Bellamy.

"Oh my God Bellamy your hand!' Someone shrieked.

Jasper had completely forgotten about Bellamy's hand until that moment. He understood what the scream was for once he saw it again. His fingers were swollen and purple and they bent in various angles that fingers shouldn't. Jasper felt sick as he watched Bellamy lift it and stared in morbid curiosity.

"Almost forgot about this," he said wistfully, turning it over.

Jasper was unsure how anyone could forget something that looked so painful.

"Cage doesn't like it when I talk back," Bellamy said as if it were some sort of answer for the violence that had been put on him.

"What are they doing to you?" Miller asked.

"All the fun stuff. Bloodletting, beating, drugging. Tsing said my blood is special so they want to do some experiments. I am assured the bone marrow extraction was the first."

Nobody responded. What would they even say? Jasper wished he knew.

Suddenly, the door opened back up and Cage had reappeared, guards trailing behind him. Jasper and Miller got up and stood defiantly as the guards dragged Bellamy away from them.

"Playtime is over," Jasper heard Cage say with a smirk.

"You can't keep experimenting on him, he'll die," Harper shouted bravely, her hand protectively covering the spot they had drilled into her.

Cage took notice of the gesture and responded by digging his finger into Bellamy's side. Bellamy gasped as the white hot pain coursed through his body. He felt as his stitches ripped and blood ran down his leg. He leaned heavily into the guard that was supporting him.

Monty had to choke back the rising bile as he watched Cage dig his fingers deeper into Bellamy's wounds. Surprisingly, Bellamy did not scream. Monty did not know if he would have been as strong as that.

Cage finally removed his fingers and pulled a small cloth to wipe off the blood. He smiled at the 47, relishing in their horror and her disgust.

"It is extremely interesting to me that you all think you get some kind of say in what happens here. You should know, Harper, that the only reason we haven't bled you dry is because of Bellamy. I'd be cautious of what you say."

Harper paled and looked at Bellamy, was grasping at his wound and breathing heavily.

"None of you get any sort of vote in this. You are tools in our survival, nothing less. You are all expendable," Cage demanded.

Suddenly, before anyone could blink, Cage was behind Bellamy, holding a knife to the weaker man's throat. Monty thought he'd puke.

"Now if you want Bellamy to keep his insides on the inside, back off."

They did as they were told and watched fearfully as their leader was dragged out, metal still centimeters from vulnerable skin. The room was quiet for a while, nobody sure what to do.

Finally Miller cleared his throat and said, "When all this is said and done and Clarke gets us, I'm gonna drill into him until he begs for death and I'll only stop he's drowning his own blood."


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke tried to maintain a sense of composure and tried to think positively. _Bellamy is alive_ she thought and repeated that mantra to herself. She closed her eyes and the image of Octavia running out of the tent crying after the radio chat with Jasper appeared. She couldn't even begin to imagine what Octavia was going through, that Lincoln had basically chosen the drug over Bellamy's safety. Clarke knew it wasn't Lincoln's fault, she just hoped Octavia did too.

Clarke was still in Raven's tent, both the girls sitting in tense silence and Clarke realized Raven was probably waiting for Clarke to say something, for her to make a new plan.

"We need to neutralize that acid," Clarke said.

"Well no shit, does Lexa have a plan yet?" Raven snapped.

Clarke opened her eyes and she looked at Raven, who appeared to be wiping away stray tears. Clarke knew that Raven was stressed and that she also really cared about Bellamy, so she didn't call her out on her harsh tone.

"I haven't seen her in a little while so I don't know."

"She needs to hurry up and figure it out. Our people are dying."

"I know Raven, but so are hers."

"Clarke, she was gonna have me tortured and killed so excuse me if I don't feel entirely sympathetic to her and her _people,_ " Raven hissed, disgust lacing every word.

"I know you're worried about Bellamy, but we have to be smart or we could get him and the others killed."

"News flash Clarke, in case you weren't listening, Bellamy is gonna _die_ if we don't hurry it the hell up and save him!" She shouted.

Clarke felt her throat tightened and she exited the tent without another word.

Clarke found her mother in the infirmary, treating a grounder with some small cuts and bruises on his body. Clarke wished she could go back to the days where she practiced medicinal treatments on the Ark, working on her stitching and wound care. She had wanted so badly to be a doctor. She wondered where the old Clarke, if she even still existed.

At some point while she waited for her mom to finish the stitching, Clarke watched as Lexa entered the infirmary, a worried look painting her features. Clarke felt her chest tighten.

"Clarke, I have been looking all over for you," Lexa stated, her voice laced with authority.

"I've been here, what's up?" Clarke asked, trying to hold on to her small semblance of clam.

"We have a problem. We cannot find a way to turn off the acid from the outside. It has to be someone inside."

Clarke felt her heart sink.

"Lexa, there has to be some way. Please, if we don't do it soon, Bellamy will die!"

Lexa blinked.

"You have heard of what has happened to Bellamy?" She asked.

"Yes! And they are torturing him!"

"Do not pretend I do not understand Clarke, I have lost hundreds of my people to the _Mountain Men._ We have tried everything and the only way to shut down those defenses is from the inside" Lexa explained, though Clarke could sense her anger.

Clarke couldn't let Bellamy or anybody else die. She wouldn't let them take anyone from her, she was too tired of losing people.

"Fine, if it has to be done from the inside then that's what we will do."

"How will the others do it?" Lexa asked.

"They won't. I am gonna sneak back inside. I am gonna turn off the acid."


	6. Chapter 6

Bellamy began to see the cage as a source of comfort and it made him think he's lost his mind. He didn't know how many days it had been since Cage let him see Jasper and Monty. Echo couldn't really help him either, they'd drained her while he'd been gone and she was too weak to do anything more than mumble that she was still alive.

He thought it must have been at least four days because Tsing hadn't come to run more tests on him. While the break was nice, it made him queasy because the longer she took, the more cruel her experiments were. He swallowed bile when the thought occurred to him. He wished Clark would find him.

"Bellamy," he heard Echo whisper next to him.

"You okay?" Bellamy asked her.

Bellamy tried to ignore the sweat dribbling down her forehead and her bloodless lips. He pretended he didn't see her body tremble. He knew she didn't want to be seen as weak.

"I am not well," She admitted.

Bellamy knew Echo could handle pain extremely well and he knew she wouldn't admit the pain she was feeling unless it was really bad. He felt so useless trapped in this cage and he wished he could stop her suffering. She reminded him of Octavia, both such strong women. Bellamy wasn't the only one she helped, as she was often responsible for quelling the fears of many of the grounders down in this hell hole.

Bellamy reached his unbroken hand into her cage and felt her forehead

"You're burning up," he whispered solemnly.

"As are you Skaikru," She said to him.

Bellamy could feel illness coursing through him but ignored it, he had too. His people needed him too.

"Just as well, I'm tired of these cages. I wish to join my commander now."

It took him a minute to realize what she was saying.

"You mean you want to join Anya? You want to die?" He asked.

She looked ashamed at these words. Bellamy felt the air being sucked out of his lungs. She was all that was keeping him sane in this place. She soothed his nightmares and sang to him when he hallucinated. Bellamy hadn't been able to rely on somebody in a long time.

"Echo, we are gonna get out of this, Clarke and Lexa, they will come for us. I know they will."

She laughed and Bellamy felt the color drain from his face when he saw the drops of blood spew from her lips.

"Skaikru I have been here months. No one will come for us. The best we can hope for is that our deaths will come soon."

"I'm not giving up."

He was angry at her, angry at their situation.

"You see your mother in your dreams," She said suddenly.

"What?"

"You call for her and Octavia. They won't come for you. They will leave you here and you will die alone in this cage, screaming," she hissed at him.

She turned away and Bellamy pretended not to see her shoulders shake.

It was in the early morning that he heard the infirmary door open. He curled protectively around his broken hand.

"Good morning Mr. Blake," He heard Dr. Tsing say sweetly.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He would not be scared, not of her.

"Dr. Frankenstein," Bellamy quipped back.

She let out a humorless laugh.

"I'm glad that you still have a sense of humor. It will be so much more enjoyable to hear you scream later."

She jerked her head and two guards were suddenly there, one holding a syringe. He tried to fight them but Bellamy didn't have anywhere to run and he was too weak to land any hard blows. The needle was in his arm before he could stop it.

"This is a new cocktail I've been experimenting with. Not only does it cause extreme delirium but I've heard the pain is almost unbearable. Had to test it a few grounders to make sure the mixture was just right."

Bellamy didn't feel the pain, not at first. Then suddenly, it hit him all at once. It burned, his skin felt like it was on fire. His brain felt like it was melting. He looked at arms, horrified to see bugs burrowing into his skin. He dug his fingers into them, scratching them hard and trying to get them out.

"Get them off me!" He screamed.

Blood started pouring out of scratches that now covered his arms. They made the burning worse.

"I think we should go show his friends our wonderful results, don't you think Mr. Blake?" He heard a voice say.

He looked up and screamed in horror as two monsters grabbed his arms, their eyes empty sockets and their mouths full of spider. He didn't hear himself scream. He didn't see the grounders cry for him for him as he was dragged out of the room. He definitely didn't see Echo breakdown in her own tiny prison.

It had been a week since they last saw Bellamy. Jasper thought this was a good thing. He figured they'd only torture him if one of the 47 was watching.

"How care my favorite blood bags today?"

Jasper's head shot straight up. He hadn't heard Cage even come in. He looked at Monty, who'd been talking with Harper. She had visibly paled, and Jasper could see her mind was headed towards the bone marrow treatments.

"What do you want?" Miller snapped.

"No need to be hostile. I just figured you'd all want to visit with Bellamy again."

The room went dead silent and then Jasper heard screaming. He felt himself flinch. He hoped he'd never have to hear that sound again. He noticed Cage was smiling, as if it were the most beautiful sound in the world.

Something was horribly wrong.

"What did you do?" Jasper whispered.

"Dr. Tsing wanted to try her new drug out and our friend Bellamy seemed like the perfect candidate," Cage said smugly.

He heard another scream and he saw Monty hold Miller back.

"Please, it burns!" Jasper heard Bellamy scream, his voice filled with pain and hysteria.

"Bring him in," Cage said.

Jasper hadn't been prepared for the sight. He didn't think anyone had been.

There were two guards that had to drag Bellamy in, whi was literally kicking and screaming. His arms were covered in bleeding scratches. His nose was bleeding and tears were staining his cheeks.

"Oh my god," Jasper heard one of the other 47 whisper.

Jasper thought he might throw up.

"Please, please it burns, please," Bellamy sobbed.

The two guards dropped Bellamy and Jasper felt his heartbreak and anger filled his body as he watched Bellamy crawl over to Cage and grab his leg.

"Please make it stop, please. They are under my skin I can feel them, please I have to get them out, it... it burns," Bellamy weeped.

What was it that was in his skin? Jasper came to the horrible realization moments later that the scratches on Bellamy's arms were of his own doing.

"Bellamy, I told you, you've been bad. This is the punishment. You have to be punished, you understand that right?" Cage told Bellamy as if he were some small child.

Jasper didn't think Bellamy could look more pitiful but was proven wrong as he watched Bellamy collapse on himself, fingers digging into his skull. Cage smiled at the rest of them and walked out of the room, his guards trailing behind him.

The room was still silent, save Bellamy's sobbing.

"Bellamy?" Miller breathed as he inched closer to Bellamy's shaking form.

Bellamy lifted his head and Jasper could have sworn he'd seen true terror in Bellamy's eyes.

"Don't touch me!" Bellamy screamed as he crawled to a corner.

Miller stopped where he was and Jasper saw devastation creep onto his face.

"I have to get them out, I have to get them out, out, out, I gotta, I gotta..." Bellamy repeated over and over again.

"Bellamy? What do you need to get out?" Harper asked, inching towards him.

He looked at her and all Jasper saw was fear, pain, and sorrow and it hurt. Bellamy lifted his bloody arms for her to see.

"The bugs, you see them don't you? They are in my arms and it burns and I need them out. You believe me right? You see them too, you believe me?" He begged her, desperately needing her to say yes she did.

Harper looked at Bellamy and Jasper watched as she leaned down and took his unbroken hand.

"I see them Bell. I'll help you make them go away okay? Can I sit with you?" She asked him.

Jasper was surprised that Bellamy gave her a small nod. Harper put Bellamy's head in her lap and rubbed circles on his back.

"I'm sorry mom," Bellamy whispered.

Everyone seemed to stop breathing and Jasper watched as Harper's hand still.

"I tried to save everyone, I tried, I-"

"It's okay sweetheart, I know," Harper told him.

"I just keep failing you and Octavia and I, I don't know what to do and they all just keep dying and I can't, can't-"

"Bellamy nobody could do no better than you have been love," Harper whispered.

"I'm so tired."

"I know."

"I wish they'd just kill me already."

That earned a gasp from Miller. He looked like he'd been sucker punched.

"He doesn't mean that Miller, he's been drugged," Monty said.

Jasper couldn't tell if Monty was trying to convince Miller or convince himself.

"Echo is going to die soon, I can't do it without her mom," Bellamy told Harper, not hearing what Monty and Miller had been saying,

Jasper wasn't sure who this Echo was, so he asked. Harper repeated the question for Bellamy.

"She's... strong. She's a grounder who is in the cage next to mine. She sings to me when Clarke gets mad. When-" Bellamy stopped.

He looked at Harper and he stopped scratching up his arms and lifted one to her face. His touch was gentle and sad.

"When what?" Harper asked.

"When I see you. You're not really here, are you? This is just another nightmare. I am gonna wake up in that cage again tomorrow and you'll be gone."

Jasper felt his heart break again and he couldn't hate Harper one bit as he watched her kiss Bellamy's forehead and lie, telling him he'd wake up safe and sound in his tent tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 7

Clarke tried not to panic. It had been over a week since she'd heard from Monty or Jasper or any of them.

 _Relax Clarke,_ she thought to herself, _Monty told you he'd be in contact as soon as he could._ It didn't do much to quell her nerves but she repeated the mantra as often as possible. She knew she should focus on her plan get back into Mount Weather anyways. Heer and Lexa had been trying to come up with a plan for days.

"You can't just pretend to be a grounder, they already know who you are," Kane told her as he, she, Lexa, her mother, and Octavia all sat in a meeting.

"So how are we going to get her in?" Abby asked.

Clarke looked at her mother and Kane and felt a small wave of annoyance. They'd just come in and tried to take over when they didn't understand the first thing about surviving on the ground. She was trying her best to sit there and let them figure it out, but the longer they went on, the more danger Bellamy was in.

"What if Clarke didn't go in?" Lexa said suddenly.

Everyone turned towards Lexa.

"Who would go instead?" Clarke asked.

Lexa sat quietly for a moment and whispered something to a grounder guard who was standing behind her. He nodded once and walked out of the tent.

"Octavia, Indra has told me you are a strong fighter and you are Bellamy's sister. Perhaps it would be best if you went and retrieved him," Lexa said.

Octavia didn't say a word.

"It makes a good option, Octavia is trained," Kane agreed with the Commander.

Octavia looked like she was considering it and Clarke couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealously. She felt guilty immediately. Octavia deserved the chance to save her brother from his prisoner. It didn't matter who saved Bellamy, just that he was _saved._

"I'd still want CLarke with me, she's been inside," Octavia said.

Before Clarke had a chance to respond, she heard Raven shouting her name. She ran out of the tent to see her hobbling along on her crutch.

"Raven what's wrong?" Clarked asked.

"Clarke... They... they radioed me... Oh my god Clarke... Bellamy... Clarke," Raven was crying.

Clarke ran as fast as she could to the tent. She grabbed the radio and shouted for someone.

"Clarke?" She heard Monty's voice.

"What happened? Is he alive?" She said, ignoring the tears that started to trickle down her face.

"He's alive, but he's getting worse. Harper is with him right now. She's trying to get him to sleep. They drugged him, he thinks she's his mom," Monty whispered to her.

"Can I talk to him?"

"He won't know who you are?"

"Please Monty, I need to hear his voice."

The radio was silent for a moment then she heard him let out a deep sigh.

"I'm not even sure we could get him over here. He can barely stand," Monty admitted quietly.

Clarke felt her heart break a little.

"We can try though," he said after a moment.

She waited, clutching the radio tightly against her, waiting for Monty to say something. She heard someone come in behind her. Maybe it was Raven, maybe it was Octavia, she didn't care.

"Clarke, you still there?" Monty said through the radio.

"I'm still here," She whispered.

"Okay. Bellamy? Clarke wants to talk to you, you remember Clarke right?" She heard Monty say.

There was a moment of silence.

"Clarke?" She heard him gasp out.

Clarke felt any resolve she had in her body shatter to pieces.

"Bellamy? Bellamy, it's me, it's Clarke."

"Clarke?"

She heard skepticism and pain in his voice. She'd remembered Monty saying he'd been drugged. He probably didn't even think she was real.

"It's me, Bellamy I am real," She told him.

She heard him let out a shuddering sob.

"Clarke, I'm scared."

"I know Bellamy, we are working on getting you out. All of you. I promise."

"Clarke... I can't go back... the cage... the cage Clarke. I can't breathe in there. I'm losing my mind Clarke," he said, his voice cracking horribly.

Clarke heard a sob behind her and turned to see Raven practically supporting Octavia. Clarke hadn't seen Octavia this wrecked since Lincoln had gone missing.

"Bellamy, do you want to speak with Octavia?" Clarke said while gesturing for Octavia to move forward.

"O?" Bellamy whispered,

"Hey big brother," Octavia sobbed into the radio.

"O? Is that really you?" Bellamy asked.

"It's really me. Bell, I miss you so much. We are gonna get you back home, okay?"

"O, I saw mom. She was so beautiful O," Bellamy told her.

Octavia flinched and Clarke realized that the only thing keeping the girl standing was the table she was leaning against.

"You should ask her to tell you the story about Orpheus, I know that was always your favorite," Octavia replied.

"You hate that story," Bellamy laughed.

"Because it's so sad."

"In the end they all get to be together again. Like you, me, and mom will be. All together, right?"

A shudder went through Octavia's body.

"Of course Bell. All together," Octavia was weeping now.

"I love you O."

"I love you too Bell. I'm gonna save you big brother, I promise."

There was radio silence.

"Bellamy?" Octavia called, panic rising in her voice,

"He fell asleep, he's okay," Harper responded.

"Listen to me Harper, we are coming for you guys, We are gonna get there soon."

"We trust you Octavia. Hurry, I don't know how much more he can take," Harper said, her voice shaking.

Octavia put the radio back on the wall and collapsed to the ground and screamed. Clarke gave Raven a look and walked over to Octavia. She took the sobbing girl in her arms and held her tight. Raven joined a minute later and they sat in silence, save Octavia's sobbing, and just held each other.


End file.
